The perfect date
I was scrubbin' the temple floors this mornin' when I decided it was the perfect time to take Aayla on that date. I left muh scrubbin' brush and hurried to her room. On my way, Master Yoda stopped me.
“Kenobi! Scrubbing the floor you should be. Going off to, where are you?”
“Uhhhb... Lookit, it's a spaceship!” I pointed at the ceiling, and Master Yoda looked up. I ran off all the way to Aayla's room and found her clippin' her toenails.
“Ben! What the-”
“No time, honey! The green dude's after us! We're going fishin' today!” I picked her up and carried her out the Temple. All the time, she was screamin' stuff like “Let me go!” and “You jerk!” but I could tell she was really excited.
We got out and I dumped her in the backseat of my speeder. I took off immediately, in case Yoda should send more of those nannies after me.
We went all the way to that one spot where I go fishing and rented a little purple boat. It's the kind that's got paddles on it, where you put your feet. We paddled a few feet into the lake. On the way she told me something about my eyes but she din't give me no cheetos. We sat for a while looking at the scenery. The water was really really shiny.
“Check this out.” I said.
“What?”
I opened the can of bait I brought. Somethin' doggone funky must've happened because the can was all full of hair gel. Either that or scalp wax.
“Ben? Why'd you bring hair gel?”
“I – er – um... decided to change muh hairstyle.” I scooped somma that stuff out and plopped it on muh head. Coolest guys never show their mistakes.
“Alright, then.” She said and took one of the rods out. “Where's the bait?”
“The bait?”
“Yes, where's the bait?”
“What ever do we need bait for when we got our bare hands?” I said, “I can catch fish with muh bare hands with muh eyes closed. Been doing that since I'ws two.” which was a lie, because those fish are mighty darn slipp'ry. But, like I said, she thinks I'm perfect, an' I cain't let down muh girl like that.
“Hah. Show me.”
I stared out into the water. I'ws getting' ready to somethin' I'd be getting into buttloads of trouble for. I'ws guessin the masters wouldn't let me back in the Temple if my robes were wet. No one likes wet Kenobi. Guess it's 'cause I'd steal all their girls. I was starin' in there for a while b'fore I saw him.
“Wah! It's muh twin-”
Splash!
Aayla screamed, but the water wasn't very much deep, which was good, 'cause I cain't swim none. Mah twin must've swam away, though.
“I'm fine, don't panic, sweetheart.”
“Why don't we go home?” She was soaking wet. I guess I made a mighty big splash, din't I? She seemed mighteh angry, too.
“But we didn't catch any fish.”
“It's fine. Let's go.” She sounded perty annoyed.
We paddled back and got back into the speeder I borrw'd from Anakin. I sure hope he don't mind I got mud all over the seats. I flew us all the way back to the Temple. Aayla din't say a word. We went in and Aayla still din't say nothin. She's prolly speechless, seein' how muh drivin's perfect. Nothin' works like the Obinator charm.
“Kenobi! Scrubbing the floor you should be. Going off to, where are you?”
“Uhhhb... Lookit, it's a spaceship!” I pointed at the ceiling, and Master Yoda looked up. I ran off all the way to Aayla's room and found her clippin' her toenails.
“Ben! What the-”
“No time, honey! The green dude's after us! We're going fishin' today!” I picked her up and carried her out the Temple. All the time, she was screamin' stuff like “Let me go!” and “You jerk!” but I could tell she was really excited.
We got out and I dumped her in the backseat of my speeder. I took off immediately, in case Yoda should send more of those nannies after me.
We went all the way to that one spot where I go fishing and rented a little purple boat. It's the kind that's got paddles on it, where you put your feet. We paddled a few feet into the lake. On the way she told me something about my eyes but she din't give me no cheetos. We sat for a while looking at the scenery. The water was really really shiny.
“Check this out.” I said.
“What?”
I opened the can of bait I brought. Somethin' doggone funky must've happened because the can was all full of hair gel. Either that or scalp wax.
“Ben? Why'd you bring hair gel?”
“I – er – um... decided to change muh hairstyle.” I scooped somma that stuff out and plopped it on muh head. Coolest guys never show their mistakes.
“Alright, then.” She said and took one of the rods out. “Where's the bait?”
“The bait?”
“Yes, where's the bait?”
“What ever do we need bait for when we got our bare hands?” I said, “I can catch fish with muh bare hands with muh eyes closed. Been doing that since I'ws two.” which was a lie, because those fish are mighty darn slipp'ry. But, like I said, she thinks I'm perfect, an' I cain't let down muh girl like that.
“Hah. Show me.”
I stared out into the water. I'ws getting' ready to somethin' I'd be getting into buttloads of trouble for. I'ws guessin the masters wouldn't let me back in the Temple if my robes were wet. No one likes wet Kenobi. Guess it's 'cause I'd steal all their girls. I was starin' in there for a while b'fore I saw him.
“Wah! It's muh twin-”
Splash!
Aayla screamed, but the water wasn't very much deep, which was good, 'cause I cain't swim none. Mah twin must've swam away, though.
“I'm fine, don't panic, sweetheart.”
“Why don't we go home?” She was soaking wet. I guess I made a mighty big splash, din't I? She seemed mighteh angry, too.
“But we didn't catch any fish.”
“It's fine. Let's go.” She sounded perty annoyed.
We paddled back and got back into the speeder I borrw'd from Anakin. I sure hope he don't mind I got mud all over the seats. I flew us all the way back to the Temple. Aayla din't say a word. We went in and Aayla still din't say nothin. She's prolly speechless, seein' how muh drivin's perfect. Nothin' works like the Obinator charm.
posted by Obi-Wan Kenobi at 8:59 PM
6 Comments:
SPLOG!
So did you find my bait?
You gotta move faster, Fluke.
What's up with the splog topics? The links don't even work! I'm bummed because I really did want see if it was possible to exterminate people by forcing them into a doghouse with a surfboard.
How am I supposed to accomplish this now? :(
Man, I need to become a Jedi. If Anakin and Padmé and Ben and Aayla are any indication, Jedi seem to get a lot of action!
No one likes wet Kenobi. No, no one like moldy Kenobi. There’s a big difference.
poor obiwan (not)
Sure there have been phone sex recording injuries, and even some deaths in boxing,
but none of them really that serious. phone sex recording
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